PERCEPTIONS OF CHILDHOOD

markherbst.com

Several times in recent years I've been taken back by comments said rather off handedly by my children at times in relation to their upbringing...
It might be a small comment of a memory, a recall of events or a general feeling of how we as parents faired in their eyes.


Almost like a long winded decision or critic on our parenting skills that now after 20 years or more we are  being handed the sentence or verdict on what we did wrong or "What were you thinking? "
Dont get me wrong there is not a problem, but its amazing to me that the age we now live in with all its focus on perfection and  idealistic vision  -  as a parent what we are expected to achieve....

allposters.com

To bring 5 children into the world, healthy, well nourished, educated, nurtured and cared for as the number one focus of ones life......It is surprising to me to hear that the choices we made in relation to education, health, environment and lifestyle may be remembered as an embarrassment rather than a remembrance of a happy childhood.

It got me thinking about our perceptions
What we perceive as a job extremely well done in my eyes, can in the eyes of others or grown up children appear an embarrassment or not be remembered in the way you see it....








The story is that our five children were all raised in a loving environment - albeit sometimes volatile I'll admit - with two devoted, 

easyaupair.com

healthy parents.






I did not work full time until my two youngest children were in high school although I was always busy and involved in my husbands dreams and businesses but I was there - available.................. Always......



We were having children in the "save the world generation "...so we meditated, practised yoga, ate fresh healthy non processed foods bought foods from the local markets.......

alaska-inpictures.com

We made serious decisions about education, feeling that the norm was not good enough for our children.

poemsandnovelsblogspot.com

So they were sent to Montessori preschool, The Best school in Perth and
later on to Rudolf Steiner Schools to be nurtured, cared for and educated in a loving, artistic and  stimulating environment set in natural Australian bushland .

Meditation, artistic endeavours, Indian Astrology, and Ayurveda were a daily occurrence and topic of conversation. As was going away on retreats for my Husband, reading ancient Vedic texts, philosophical literature and having interesting visitors from exotic foreign lands come to stay with us.
We drove the children to and from school for the majority of the years as we lived in a national park without transport. I was  always home after school or accompanying them to sport, ballet or music activities.
Each child was always considered an individual and not sent off to a particular school for example just because Uncle ....went there. We always tried and achieved I think to show the children there were other ways of looking at things.

We were spontaneous, creative and probably a little eccentric but always there.....and how I remember FUN
The boys had the unusual and lost to this generation advantage of being able to roam freely all day on the waters of the Hawkesbury and have as much adventure as they could find.
It was my life and I could not have imagined being able to or wanting to leave them to be at work or to be arriving home from work late ie after 4pm...
So, why is it after all that we did as parents our children only remember the one time you were late, the one time they went to school with the sniffles....the one time you were unavailable or worst still turn up to school on a pupil free day...oh the horror.
They were never left at 7am at the childcare centre........rarely packed off to a babysitter for the entire day....nor did they come home to an empty house and no food on the go.....

art.com

So our perceptions are so different......As my gorgeous daughter approaches the birth of her first baby,  it made me realise that we only see what we want to see, we only hear what we want to hear........and only remember what we want to remember........which is fine. And we start out with such promise as parents and we try with every fibre of our being to do absolutely everything we can to always be the best we can be ....to protect and cherish our child and to always make them our first priority...but with all this, the balancing act of life and all it brings it is hard to do it all
 "perfectly" We make mistakes, we are selfish,bossy and sometimes lazy but always there is Love and Love never fails.
 We all have our own memories and I do not have any regrets about my life as a parent not one....  I've done it all to the best of my ability in the constraints that life threw at me and  I loved it all..........
And funnily,I concur  with the man today writing in Heckler SMH .....what he wants is the 
"having children lifestyle ".......an excuse to be mad and enjoy childish things and be SILLY.........hire a jumping castle and get out with the laser guns.....crawl around the floor making castles and cubbys .....make a mess!!!!
Cuddle up and read silly books about things like "Would you Rather?" or "Avocado Baby" Who would miss out on all the fun you have....we are extremely fortunate...

inphotos.org

 I did a lot on my own (as is required when you have what is now a luxury of not working when your children are small ) as my husband worked hard . We raised all five to be honest, loyal, hardworking, happy, creative but most importantly individual

Ayurveda, Astrology and organic foods are the norm and Eat, Pray, Love has bought us the notion of spending time in Ashrams and retreats, finding oneself and following ones dharma...the way we lived has become mainstream.
I may not have the career of a lifetime spent perfecting one skill but after all that was done and all that is required to do to love, cherish, nurture, look after, treasure, nurse, adore, nourish, discipline, coach, train, teach, develop and enlighten five amazingly different, all fantastic children who I admire and love to bits.....who cares.

nursreyrhymesonline.com

Its the way we did it and I for one am proud of it...........so just remember to always   HAVE  FUN and Enjoy Every Minute of all life brings........

Always jump in the puddles! 
Always skip alongside the flowers.  
The only fights worth fighting are the pillow and food varieties.  ~Terri Guillemets

“Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away”

I am SO Happy that my daughter and wonderful husband are about to embark on the thrill of a lifetime and I wish you all the joys of parenthood together and if you love it only a tiny fraction of how much I did it will be wonderful....